recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
