Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
