Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
