If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
