Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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