somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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