Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
