You're so nebulous sometimes
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
