xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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