I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize