hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
