I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
