He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
