Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
