it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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