i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
