After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
