i barfeds in our rink
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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