I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
