Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Did I show you my penis last night?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize