physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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