when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
