You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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