He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
