Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
