Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
