I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
