What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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