If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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