are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
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