I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I want to fling myself into the sun
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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