i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
