meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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