Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize