God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
