i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
