doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
