if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
