You work out of a Hotel?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She's the barista slut.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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