Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
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I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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