you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
