about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
