Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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