Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
