my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Every concussion has its silver lining
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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