Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
