let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
