i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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