so that wasnt chicken after all
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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