she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
