every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
