ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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