last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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