I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
