just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
