I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
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