I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
