You're my little dorito
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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