I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
