Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
