If i come over, it means nothing
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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