I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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